Controlling Hardcopy Printouts

Hey All

I'm looking for a way to control the printing of documents within SharePoint 2013.

Specifically:

• Control who can read documents
• Control who can print documents, internally and possible externally.
• Audit the hardcopies that are made.

I know IRM can satisfy part of these requirements.

Does anyone know how we can control the printing?

e.g. 

1. Document is created 
2. 5 copies are printed (logged that 5 copies have been made)
3. 5 copies are distributed(hardcopies are marked with id who printed etc.)
4. Meeting where people discuss documents
5. Report to allow a doc manager to track where the documents are and how to get them back
6. Copies are logged back in. 

Yes I know... In this day of paperless work it seems an odd request, but it's a high priority :o)

Thanks All!

Chris